Da' hell BP!
by Tobifan4444
Summary: ""hm? Iggy?" America was a bit confused. 'England only calls me that when he's drunk…oh boy.' America warily turned around in his seat seeing England, drunk, holding a bucket of oil." Use of nation names. A bit of yaoi. semi-Current events involved.


**I need to work on stories more. =w= I'm sorry. It's just been a bit **_**'urrgh!' **_**lately. I have an online P.E. class and I slack off on the work till its due. ****(´****ｰ｀*****) that is so like me…**

**Anyways! I wrote this at 2-5 in the morning. So it's a bit **_**trippy**_**. And **_**weird**_**. Also, I know there is **_**technically**_** no ****North Korea**** and ****Iraq**** in Hetalia, yet (if ever). But they both get mentioned and Iraq shows up. Anyways! Enjoy! Oh also I don't own Hetalia that would be ridiculous, I mean it would be like owning the whole world…man…I wish I owned the world.**

America sat down in his chair, finishing his twenty-fifth hamburger he got during the lunch break. He shoved the rest of the burger in his mouth, licking the tips of his fingers before wiping them on his pants.

"_ahh_. Twenty minutes is not long enough for a lunch break" America sighed leaning back in his seat. "ehehe. I even made it back before anyone else"

A faint _'I'm here, eh'_ could be heard, but America ignored it.

America leaned forward, doodling on his notes, as other nations filed in the conference room. Loafers clicked softly along with the sound of liquid swashing around in a bucket. A few nations looked up to see what was going on.

"Oy, Alfie!" the Englishman called out…ok it was more of a slurry yell…

"hm? Iggy?" America was a bit confused. _England only calls me that when he's drunk…oh boy._ America warily turned around in his seat seeing England, drunk, holding a bucket of oil.

"Hey, what's tha-" "DUUAAAAAAAAAHHH!" England shouted, interrupting America, while tossing the bucket at him.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to see what was happening.

"I-Iggy? DA' HELL MAN?" America yelled soaked in oil.

England just busted out in drunken laughter. A few nations laughed as well, including; Cuba, Iraq, North Korea, and _silently_ Russia.

"Why the hell did you do that?" America asked removing his bomber jacket.

"To cut costs!" England giggled drunkenly

"That doesn't make any sense! How does throwing a bucket of oil on me cut costs?" America asked walking up to England.

"I want your bloody oil!" England yelled and then proceeded to grab America's crotch.

The whole room went silent, besides England's drunk giggles accompanied with Russia's soft ones.

"holycrapArthurhandsoffFlorida!" America said pushing England away. America then backed up into something that put a hand on his waist.

"Should not be touching things that are not yours, _da_?" Russia said smiling holding America close.

"Like hell! Since when have I been yours, snowman?" America asked glaring at Russia.

"Since we shared fries. Are wanting to become one with mother Russia, da?" Russia said holding America a bit tighter. He leaned down into America's ear whispering. "Am knowing because spies are telling me such"

America pushed Russia away. "You're a freak, ya' know that?"

"Like, America, You and your boss, like, totally didn't show up for my boss's funeral! For that you, like, have to totally take me shopping!" Poland explained grabbing America's arm.

"That was Iceland's fault, we_ talked_ about this" America freed himself from Poland's grip. Being covered in oil helps with that you know.

Iraq threw a book at America's head shouting, "Death to America!" 'ow!'

"What the hell is going on here?" America yelled running out of the conference room.

"Wow! Doitsu, America is really fast, ve~!"

**How did I come up with this? I'm…not…really sure…I was just talking with my friend and BP came up as a topic…and I acted out a bit of the first part…between the **_"Oy, Alfie!"_** and the **_"I-Iggy? DA' HELL MAN?"_** part. I'm crazy I know. But this is where I get my ideas. Everyday life. **

**WELL! I hope you liked it. If not I think I'll go cry myself to sleep and never try to write another funny Hetalia story again…**


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